I'm Offended

Is anybody NOT offended? Seriously.

It seems like it’s impossible to turn on the TV or log on to social media without something that was “offensive” that is being talked TO DEATH!

Just this week, people have been offended by a red cup, a Christmas sweatshirt, a white university president, gay Mormons and a coffee shop in Mesa – just to name a few. I’m not sure if it’s about attention or the need to be a victim of something. Perhaps is the need to “win”. (Win what, I’m not sure. Is “viral” considered a win?)

I’ve got two theories about these things – either people have perfect lives and they have nothing else to worry about or can’t believe how craptastic their lives turned out and need some misery for company.

We have people for any number of reasons jumping on the “red cup” bandwagon. (I guess I’m jumping, too, even though I swore I wouldn’t jump into the fray.) The rally cries are everything from taking Christ out of Christmas to shunning Christians. Nope. They opted for a red cup this year. The end.

Then there’s the ever-present OCD (Obsessive Christmas Disorder) backlash. I’ve seen sweatshirt with the F-word on them. I just didn’t buy it. And people who actually have OCD know they have it. And work through it. Like everyone else should.

I’m not following the situation on the Mizzou campus very closely, but here’s what I’ve been able to glean… the white president is being accused of being white and the students have demanded that he acknowledge his “white privilege” at the same time demanding that they not be accused of being black. Huh? (For the love of everything holy, please do not be offended by this. I don’t hate black people.)

Gay Mormons. The church came out with a rule. Don’t like it. Don’t join. Any questions?

Bikini baristas in Mesa. There’s a Mesa city councilman that can’t stay off the television spewing his venom about this business. Demoralizing to woman? Perhaps. It’s their choice and they’re employed. Don’t want to see it? Take another route. You also don’t have to go into strip clubs if you don’t want to. Problem solved.

We have women’s groups lashing out at stores with mannequins that are too skinny. Then the fashion world calling “normal sized” mannequins obese. What size are we supposed to be? I keep forgetting.

We have Dunkin Donut employees offended that an officer came in to, wait for it – BUY SOMETHING - then thought it best to write something ugly on the cup. Then we have police families urging everyone to boycott every single restaurant, coffee shop or gas station that ever hired an idiot employee.

So, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to take my normal-sized white Mormon butt into a local shop and buy something. It may be in a red cup. It may be in a bowl. I probably won’t buy something with a saying on the front of it. (And for the record, I DO have Obsessive Christmas Disorder and I’m proud of it – stop in and see my 12 full decorated Christmas trees this year.) I’ll hope that the Mizzou situation is resolved peacefully and I’ll hope that someday people stop hating cops. In the meantime, I’ll love my take-home cop with all I have – just in case someone hates him to death.

They Were Just Doing Their Jobs

“They were just doing their jobs.”  For some reason, that statement made me mad.  Anger came from a deep place.  I couldn’t even explain it – it was visceral, and instantaneous.  The words were first uttered by the grief-stricken station manager after his reporter and cameraman were shot on live television. 

  

How many times have WE, as police families, said these same words?  However, they never end here. Somebody almost always responds with “they signed up for it”, or,  “with all of the police brutality, what did you expect?”, and finally, “cops should know better by now.” 

Really?  I also noticed that when replaying the video of the murder of the journalists, the media was sensitive enough to freeze the frame one millisecond prior to the shots ringing out “out of respect for their families."
 
Wait – aren’t these the same group of people that will stand and scream about freedom of the press until police departments release 911 tapes, radio traffic and body camera footage?  Aren’t these the same people that show photos of crime scenes, beaten and bloodied officers and mourning families?  What about respect for OUR families?  You know -- the ones that were just doing their jobs and supporting those who do those jobs.

And every single time there’s an officer in the news, the media makes sure they mention the color of everyone’s skin and reminds everyone of the unrest and ongoing cries of police brutality.  Is there actually more?  Or is it just being reported more?  I truly don’t know.  And have we bastardized the word “brutality”?  Most of them were just doing their jobs.

I haven’t been able to turn on the radio, local or national television without hearing about what a tragedy yesterday's on air killings have been to the media family.  And I agree absolutely. It’s tragic.  It is always a tragedy when innocent people are destroyed and their families ripped part by senseless violence.  But are you aware that there have been ELEVEN police officers killed in the line of duty in the last 26 days?  FIVE of them by gunfire.  Just this last Monday, Trooper Steven Vincent was just doing his job when he stopped to assist a motorist stuck in a ditch.  And then took a shotgun blast to the head and was taunted by his killer while he lay dying.

The station manager also said that the media family would continue to do what they had to do – report on this tragedy, because it’s what they do.  And they were heartbroken doing it.  How about the officers that spend hours upon hours on the crime scene of their fallen brother so they can investigate his death?  It’s not for entertainment or the top-of-the hour ratings grab – it’s to make sure the beast that killed their brother is found and dealt with.  They have to be careful not to make any mistakes, knowing full well that a defense attorney a year down the road will question every single microscopic piece of evidence they procured.  After all, they’re just doing their jobs.

I heard many anchors talking about how it could’ve been any one of them in that situation.  And how many of them had been scared or in the middle of a volatile scene.  I agree.  I’m quite certain that when you show up to an active shooting scene or a horrific murder or the side of town nobody talks about – you were scared.  But, didn’t you sign up for it?  Were you there to assist with the loss or damage?  Or were you there to capitalize on someone’s loss and pain?  Probably just doing your job.

The stories on the news this morning were of a young reporter who was considering marriage.  And a young cameraman who had just gotten engaged.  They were both in their mid-twenties.  It is inspeakably sad, and wrong. I am heartbroken for these families and these sweethearts that will never know how their lives would have been had the events of yesterday not unfolded.

Have you ever noticed that many officers that die in the line of duty leave behind young spouses and even younger children?  Babies who never knew their daddies or mommies?  I made a cursory calculation and found that 117 children were left without parents who were just doing their jobs this year. 21 of these children experienced this life-changing separation just this month.  There have been 79 line-of-duty deaths this year – the latest being yesterday in Louisiana.  But you probably didn’t hear about him – he got upstaged by two other tragic but more media-worthy deaths.  And he was just doing his job.

So, my message to the media is this -- I’m truly sorry for your loss.  And I am genuinely heartbroken over the senseless act of misdirected rage and cowardice that took your two media family members.  Now that you know how it feels to lose family members to gunfire – do you think you could be a little more gentle with my family?   They run towards gunfire, search the dark for the boogey man, help stranded motorists, rescue children, abused women and wounded animals.  They love, they laugh, they bleed.  And they die.  But, they signed up for it.  And they’re just doing their jobs.


Natalie M. Stahl,
Glendale, AZ
Proud LEOW

My Take-Home Cop

With the media perpetually making our men out to be the bad guys, it's up to us to show who they really are behind the badge.

I’ve been with Scott for 21 years, married 20.  He’s not perfect.  I’m not perfect.  But we’re perfect for each other.  I can’t imagine a single minute without him in my life.  We have two beautiful daughters that were lucky enough to inherit his kaleidoscope blue eyes – truly, they sparkle.  He didn’t run for the hills when I suggested (after two years of marriage and a newborn) that we buy an 85 year old house for me to turn into a business.  He let me chase my dream of small business ownership – of which I’ve been able to do for going on 17 years now.  It allowed me to stay close to my girls as they grew up.  He’s a very patient and kind man – it takes a lot to rile him up.  He’s helped ground me and make me less of a spaz. I’ve always said that he hums at a very low frequency – mine is MUCH higher.

He started with Phoenix police academy when he was 21.  He failed a test and got “washed out” of the academy.  He decided that it was his “omen” and he should pursue other things.  We were married when we were 27 and I could tell that he still longed for the LEO life.  I was working close with Glendale PD on a federal grant project and it became too much for him.  He finally decided that he would pursue the dream – with a full blessing from all of us nearly 15 years after the original start.  He was “old” coming out of the academy at 36.

I have witnessed from where I sit so many things that it’s hard to narrow it down to just a few reasons why I think he’s a GREAT man and officer.  I sat and listened to him recount the horrific accident where several small children and infants were thrown from a vehicle because they were not properly restrained.  And kissed him goodbye as he headed to the morgue the next day to identify them.  I sat with him when he told me about the drowning call of a 3 year old girl who looked EXACTLY like our 3 year old girl.  The words barely came out.

We lived without him for days as he and his fellow officers searched Glendale for a missing 5 year old girl, then sent him off to Maricopa for months while he dug for her body in a landfill.  He truly believed in his heart of hearts that HE would find her.  And was devastated that he didn’t.

I sent him to the hospital the morning Officer Holly was killed to be with his brothers.  And waited until the wee hours of the morning for him to come home after another brother, Officer Jones was gunned down in a parking lot.  I stood behind the rank and file of officers dressed in their class A uniforms with their badges covered in shrouds – even though they stood at attention, their bodies wracked with sobs.  

He witnessed his good friend and his K9 being shot in our friend’s backyard.  And after he helped remove the officer and the K9 from the scene, returned to give the suspect CPR – even though he had tried to kill his friend.  Then returned days later to make sure the kids who lived in the house were doing okay after what they had witnessed.

These are a very few reasons that I think he’s amazing.  He’s very tall.  He’s very quiet.  And his heart is so incredibly large – the badge barely covers it.

They're truly NOT the bad guys.  People just tend to meet them on the days they made their worst choices.